Chuck vs The Chivalric Impulses
by klingoncowboy
Summary: A What If A/U type tale... What if Chuck hadn't gotten the Intersect... y'all know the drill...


Disclaimers: I don't own Chuck, the various production companies, WB or NBC... no latinum has exchanged hands so y'all know the drill...

The Story:

Wrapping up the text message, Chuck Bartowski hit send and pocketed his blackberry. The directions had been both direct and simple to follow and he was fairly certain that Lester would still get things wrong in a spectacular fashion, aided and abetted by his drinking buddy Jeff.

Now if they could just get through the rest of the day without burning the Buy More down or blowing it up it would be a very good day. He glanced about... where the hell was he?

The dimly lighted bar was fairly empty of early evening patrons. Chuck sighed as the realization hit that he'd taken a wrong turn somewhere and was temporarily lost... again. Admitting to that fact would earn him exaggerated eye rolls from his wife and his sister when he got back to their table.

" Damn it Carina! " A growling grunt grabbed his attention to a semi dark corner booth.

A skinny redhead woman gazed with an uneasy mixture of fawning adoration and pillage and plunder on her model pretty face at the man in the booth with her. He was a large and menacing looking individual with a permanent frown chiseled deep into his craggy features. Both became aware of Chuck at the same time.

" You loose something moron? " the hulking menace growled.

" Ah... er... no I'm just... " Chuck turned away and his eyes seemed to meet the most amazing blue eyes in the mirror behind the bar.

Chuck wondered for a moment what he'd done to deserve that expression of loathing and icy fury and prepared to apologize or confess for whatever... He blinked and the expression was gone; replaced by a distant friendliness.

The young lady was golden haired and long legged in a simple black dress that clung her slender form and ended well north of her knees. The gentleman was slickly handsome in a well fitted tuxedo and a Pierce Brosnan as James Bond style.

And the tuxedo wearer was definitely inebriated. He listed towards the blond and used that motion as an excuse to right himself by resting a hand on her taut bottom.

The blond snarled at him, " If you do not remove that hand, Mr. Barker, Her Majesty's Government will be short one... "

Chuck had to admit that she was one of the most beautiful women he'd ever seen and yes, that included Lou.

" Don't be that way Sharah, " the drunk slurred through an upper class British accent.

Obeying chivalric impulses that were generally dormant, Chuck headed towards the couple at the bar. He placed himself between them and faced the blond with his goofiest smirk and the Bartowski Eyebrow Dance. " So tell me sweetheart, what's a good looking dame like you doing in a joint like this? "

The amazing blue eyes danced with astonishment and laughter. " Well... other than that was the absolutely worse Bogart impression I've ever heard? "

" Ouch! "

" Excush me! " British Accent breathed whiskey fumes into Chuck's ear. " Sheth wish me! "

" Huh? " Chuck whirled and his elbow smacked into a large glass goblet of some iridescent blue concoction bearing fruit and a tiny paper umbrella. The goblet promptly toppled and the blue concoction spilled across the bar and splattered across British Accent's well fitted tuxedo.

Chuck froze as he eyed the dripping mess. " Oops! "

" Oops? " British Accent glared back with drunken hauteur.

" Er... I'm so... I'm so sorry about that! I don't know how that happened! The barkeep must have placed the drink too close to the edge there. " Chuck took several swipes at the blue liquid and managed to smear it more evenly across the starched, white shirt. " I really didn't mean to knock it over and I'm so sorry that she's with you... "

British Accent stepped hastily back. " Will you shtop that! What'n hell d' you think you're doing? "

" Helping? " Chuck sent a panic tinged look over his shoulder at the stunned and stunning looking blond. " I'm really very sorry! I didn't mean to ruin your evening that is if it's not already been ruined... I didn't realize you were with him and why wouldn't you since you're so beautiful and he's... "

" Hesh what? " British Accent grabbed Chuck and hauled him around.

" Cole! He didn't mean anything! He's harmless... " The blond tried to intervene.

" He's ah... He's ah... " Chuck babbled helplessly.

There was a slight popping sound and a small dart appeared to sprout out of British Accent's neck.

" Did you just tra... " Bloodshot, blue grey eyes rolled back into his head.

Chuck found himself supporting a sudden dead weight. " Ohcrapohcrapohcrap!"

He maneuvered the now unconscious drunk to the nearest bar stool and set him there. British Accent slowly tipped forward until his forehead rested in the sticky remnants of the blue concoction and he snored.

" No Casey... you can't tranq the moron! " the blond hissed into her watch.

Chuck glanced from the small dart still sticking from British Accent's throat to the blond and her watch. " I don't want to know do I ? "

She shook her head gravely. " No, you really don't... "

Chuck's blackberry chirped as it received a text message. He hauled it out of his pocket and read... ' Did u get lost? Again? '

" My friend just had a bit too much to drink, " the blond said.

Chuck looked up to see that she was addressing an anxious looking bartender. He gave the bartender a rather jerky nod of agreement along with a sheepish shrug and grin. " I ah... I ah... I need to get going... I've got an anniversary dinner waiting on me... "

" Wait! " She planted herself in his path, well toned arms crossed beneath her rather impressive cleavage and coolly amused eyes. " Are you in the habit of rescuing damsels in distress? "

Chuck shrugged again with another sheepish smile. " Is that what I was doing? "

" Well thank you...? " She thrust a slender hand in his direction.

" Chuck! Chuck Bartowski! "

The humor faded from her eyes and the hand slowly drooped to her side. Her body language took on a defensive quality. She took a deep breath, " I'm Sarah Larkin... "

" Yeah? And... oh! " Recognition dawned. " I remember you! Sarah Walker... you came into the Buy More a couple years back to get your phone fixed. You're Bryce's... "

" Widow... " Sarah nodded.

" Is there a problem? " a deep, masculine voice growled.

Chuck glanced up to see the hulking menace standing nearby. " No... no problem... I'm just making a new friend... "

The blackberry broke into the Quantum Leap theme song. Chuck answered. " Yeah Morgan? No I'm not lost... Tell Lou I took a wrong turn at Albuquerque... "

As he talked, he pulled his wallet out and fished a personalized Buy More business card out. He handed it to Sarah Larkin with a friendly smile.

" … No Morgan... Dad and Devon don't need to come looking for me... " Chuck stepped around the growling menace and headed across the bar towards the door he had entered through. He glanced back at Sarah Larkin, gave her a brief wave and a cheery smile and was gone.

The End


End file.
